I was walking from my car to my apartment last night and along the way happened to be mauled by a gang of pixies which had temporarily set up residence in the piles and piles of junk left outside the front of my block. They managed to steal my wallet but luckily the odd lesson I had in kung-fu had payed off and I managed to escape into my front door before any serious damage happened.

I now live in fear of leaving the house so I have set up camp. I figured that I have enough food to last me for about 3 and a half days and after that I will assume my extreme hunger will take over and things which I normally would not class as food will satisfy me. I am also in the middle of a very aggressive letter to the head of the garbage collection department demanding that security be employed in every street when it is council pick up time as to ensure the safety of all residents from pixies. It would be unethical not too.